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the big 4-0

September 29th, 2009 (07:41 pm)
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current location: home sweet home
current mood: pensive

Today is my birthday. Turning 40 is incredibly strange. My friend R. reminds me that in Judaism, all wisdom starts at 40. I like that concept. It's definitely better than 40 being the end of my "cupcake years," as my cousin M. told me. Of course, I have no idea what "cupcake years" are supposed to be. It does make me feel like I'm missing out on something, and I'm assuming that something is good. If so, I don't know if the last several years were cupcake-y. I don't want to rehash all of the reasons why I've spent more time down than up. I don't want to re-think moves that, in retrospect, were not the best. I've spent years doing that.

I hope that wisdom does begin at 40. Perhaps by the big 5-0, I'll feel more confident that I've gotten closer. That's the plan, anyway.

I dug out a poem that someone distributed to the parents when I was in middle school. Perhaps you've encountered elsewhere, gendered differently. I kept this on my bulletin board for years, and I think I still need it. I think I probably always will.


The Dilemma
To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk rejection.
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life
is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing,
has nothing, is nothing. She may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but she cannot learn, change, grow, or love. Chained
by her certitude, she is a slave. She has forfeited her
freedom. Only a person who takes risks is free.



It's time to take more risks.

themoreyouclean [userpic]

RIP, Patrick Swayze

September 14th, 2009 (09:07 pm)
current location: home sweet home
current mood: tired

To Patrick Swayze, Thanks for Everything, Themoreyouclean.
RIP


Also, I wouldn't mind owning the Madoffs' beach house "cottage."

themoreyouclean [userpic]

iz funnee

September 9th, 2009 (07:01 pm)
Tags:

current location: home sweet home
current song: roommate

My roommate is sitting in his room singing to Rock Band, very loudly and very, very badly.

I don't think he knows that I can hear him.

~snickers~

themoreyouclean [userpic]

Of parties, parents, and snores

August 16th, 2009 (08:25 pm)
current location: home sweet home
current mood: bewildered

The weekend was a wonderful treat. The party went swimmingly. Nate was really thrilled to have family there, including friends-so-close-they-really-are-family from France & Holland & Hong Kong. My dad had a great time, too, talking with his cousins & his brother. Maddie went from quiet to sociable quickly and played beautifully with the other kids there. And we had lobster for dinner, which was marvelous.

I got to have breakfast alone with my mom this morning, which hasn’t happened in a very long time. The last few years—full of ups and downs in both of our lives—have not been the best for our relationship. I felt pleased and also relieved that she reached out to me. I teared up during our conversation, which I often do when she and I are talking seriously. She and I differ on more things than we used to, which is expected but also a little painful. Sometimes I would love to be just a little girl again.

We started planning for her to visit me for my birthday over a weekend at the end of next month. I’m hoping for shopping, birthday dinner with the cousins (including my birthday-mate, my cousin Zoe, who will be turning nine), perhaps a trip to the spa, and plenty of time for talking. And, room service. I think we’re going to go stay at a hotel in the area where we were this weekend, which is quiet and very green.

My sister informed me that the next time we went away as a family, she would not be rooming with me (not that this is such a common occurrence anymore, given her marital state). Apparently, Maddie (sharing her bed) woke her mommy up in the morning (early riser that she is) by informing her that “Aunt Jane snores really loud!” My sister agreed.

Naturally, this was news to me, and I was appalled as I didn’t think I’d ever been a snorer. qui_quae_quod, madamsnape, and sabrebabe, did I snore at Azkatraz?

Of course, I had to question my sister several times to make sure she was telling me the truth. I mean, she’s my sister; surely, she was trying to pull one over on me. But, once I heard that Maddie had reported it, I knew she was. Maddie said it with too much innocent honesty to be lying. I was so embarrassed! I’m a little paranoid now and trying to convince myself it was just a one-time thing: my neck muscles were stiff and sore from too much air conditioning; the hotel bed was uncomfortable; I hadn’t slept well the few nights before. I can’t deal with another annoying behavior to correct.

This week brings another dinner with littlelizzyann, more research (yay!!), bill paying, and I’m not sure what else. Maybe more and better sleep. And more episodes of Acquittal by coffeeonthepatio, a new-ish HG/SS fic that I’m enjoying quite a bit. And more awwol. (Nudge, nudge; wink, wink).

themoreyouclean [userpic]

Friday again already?

August 14th, 2009 (07:54 pm)
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current mood: tired

There were a couple days this week that went achingly slowly, but really, here we are again at Friday already! I love the weekend nowadays. I get at least one day when I can sleep in as late as I want, or at least as late as my body will let me. Which is usually about 8:30. ~shrugs~
This is on the long side...Collapse )

themoreyouclean [userpic]

AWWOL?

August 12th, 2009 (11:46 pm)

I was going to leave a comment on Hermione's last post over at awwol, but I didn't want to disturb anything that she and Severus might have going on right now.

Molly, Minerva, Arthur, everyone: are you coming back? Is there any more? An epilogue? Please, please, please, please, please!

themoreyouclean [userpic]

100 things meme

August 12th, 2009 (09:01 pm)
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current location: home sweet home

That Old 100 Things MemeCollapse )

themoreyouclean [userpic]

Torchwood debriefing

August 10th, 2009 (10:15 pm)
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current location: home sweet home
current mood: irked

Torchwood CoE Episode 4 spoiler alertCollapse )

themoreyouclean [userpic]

and one more thing

August 9th, 2009 (10:24 pm)
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John Barrowman has a very nice ass. Very.

themoreyouclean [userpic]

Fictional Memory

August 9th, 2009 (09:01 pm)
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current location: home sweet home

I saw it on sbrande's LJ first, though I'm sure everyone will be doing it imminently.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often or ever) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph in your LJ and see what your friends come up with.

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